Suzanna Zuikiflee

2011-04-22T18:54:00.000+08:00

I have not much say. My family is falling apart. I dont want to say what happen or whatever but im just trying my best to be okey. Ive been trying to concentrate on work and distract myself but i fail. I keep imagining my father breaking down and i dont bare to see him go through like this. Daddy has gone through too much ever since young. First marriage in his life is ruin and he still suffered after that and when he move on thinking it was all okey,it got worst. I may not go through what my father is going through but i feel the pain. ='( Well i cant say much already.. Its too painful.

2011-04-07T14:32:00.001+08:00

Getting one soon yeah but waiting for ipad 2. No point buying ipad 1,boring... So anyway ive been a good girl... Well im just waiting for my attachment next week..Im not afraid just worried what job im given to do.. I think i might have slight fever for almost 2 days now.. Nak mampus agaknye..hahaha.. kidding.... Soo i wont update much really...Im searching for photos when im young.. I dont where i put already.. I miss school.. Boring sia sit at home.. Im afraid to go out because i will spent ALOT! No joke.. I see something cute,ill grab and buy..Wear i or use it for awhile then put aside... Tebiat! Cant blame me,im a girl.. I like cute stuff..hahaha.. Okey ill update more later? Insyallah..

Start every activity with Bismillah and Insyallah it'll go smoothly

2011-04-05T21:03:00.001+08:00

2011-04-05T15:19:00.000+08:00

When is my turn?

2011-04-04T22:36:00.000+08:00

Hey loves. Yes i know ive not been updating my blog lately.. Soo hows life? Well i dont know how to actually explain this. My family recently had a chalet at Costa Sands Resort to celebrate Ayden's first birthday. That little cutie grow up soo fast. Big already dont ask kakak for money k.. Haha.. Mintak Mak.. Well Chalet was fun overall but i have to admit that although im glad to see my whole family gathering but we are gathering in a wrong way. Drinking and so on.. Its fun yes but i dont see the point why we have to get drunk to be open to each other. Some of us are even to shy to reveal our true colours to our own family.. Its like why? And teasing each other. Shouldnt we be supporting one another. Haiya.. And when can we actually gather as a family.. Instead of having another people from Malaysia join in.. I mean like yes they are family too but do they even come here often when the fact we took sooo much time,spending soo much money on transport to travel there every year.. And all they do is wait for our coming and thats it.. Do they come here visit us? No... My family have complicated attitudes.. Some really into sharing and stuff.. Some come once in awhile.. When can i actually see a complete picture of us.. Its been 18 years of my life and i only saw one which is when my parents have not even divorce yet.. ill take a picture of it and post it alright.. ahaha

Well thats one. Yes some of you are asking about me and isa.. Yes i admit okey.. We are really over. I dont really like showing my status of.. Im not proud to be single..I may be contacting guys but im nt ready for a commitment anymore. I feel maybe its best if i stay single and wait for the right one. What me and Isa had was harsh yet beautiful.. 2 years.. sadly.. But its okey.. Im okey with it.. Isa's move on. Heard, i only heard ok, he has been dating.. At least he is taking a step forward.. Im slowly telling people that it ends here. Some of family members still ask... Haiyo.. I dont recognise Isa already too.. Too different in a way that i cant even have a normal conversation. Always must fight. Ever since i think ITE. Ya maybe.. I cant say anything much of Isa. He has this attitude when he wants to be lazy and piss,he will.. Like what do i care attitude you know..Tip for girls,hahaha.. chey no la.. Isa if you are reading this,i want you to know how much this quit in our relationship is harder for me then for you because not about changing my status but quite a bit of my life. I was stupid to priorities you but im learning to stand up on my own. Im very glad you pass by my life at the same i wish i had known you longer before we rush into a relationship 2 years ago. Maybe we rushed right? Im not soo bad to bitch about you or tell girls how awful you treat me but im hoping too you get someone better than me.. I know deep inside you for sure there is still the Isa i know.. If you girls want know.. The first i time i met him,he was a sweetheart.. A guy i could actually be with.. People change soo we cant stop that right. Soo enough of him and let me continue with something else.

I think daddy hates me now.. I dont know la.. Suzanna ade mak bapak tapi im the one chasing you both. I always call Mummy a million times and she'll answer " Nak ape zanna " Its like im annying her. I text daddy.. Every sentence he send me must have exclamation mark.. Yes i dont stay with you daddy and dont visit you already. Think of my travel.. Sengkang.. Kalah pergi sekolah.. Simei nearer. And why am i the only one making an effort to talk to you.. Do you text me how i am? You know if my grandmother were to pass away.. ( SAYING ONLY ) ill cry... She is like my parents. My mother + my father.. Pamper me really.. But Mak su always rebut her with me..haha.. anyway i need to stop typing.. Too much info huh?? yeah.. Goodnight to you all and may Allah bless you always.. xoxoxo

2011-03-14T18:50:00.000+08:00

Long time no update so ill update today since i stayed home today and have time to actually type on something on my blog. So anyway sweethearts. Ive been going out and today i fall sick.. Well done Suzanna! Go out some more la.. Ish. As you know Isa went for his Paris trip already and ever since he left,although he is no one to me,i miss him. Been having dreams and sleepless nights thinking about why on earth we broke up again. Okey wait im not emo now. Im just saying. I texted him everyday to just... i also dont know why but maybe because im use to it. I Soo anyway im hungry and i went shopping yesterday. I bought a forever 21 top and a trf zara top.. Im learning to buy things from Bershka,i swear. Some okey,some too similar to New Look or F21, really.. Okey thats all sweets i think.

Ill pray to Allah for their safe trip back home this Thursday or Friday <3

2011-03-08T15:39:00.000+08:00

Yes i know its been long since i blog. Soo exams are almost over. My princess is leaving soon to Paris. have fun sweetie. Ill miss you. <3 I was thinking of sending her to the airport but see how eh.. Suprise maybe. Ill pray for you and your family a great journey home and back dearest. =) <3 Ive been shopping like crazy and i wish i could show you but nah... hahaha.. Zara's season clothing line this year is the best! But winter is always boring. SIngapore no snow how to wear all those fashionably cute blazers.. pfft... Okey i update a little only. Not much really happen in life that its exciting but i do miss having a boyfriend. Wait really? Idk la. I have been have been having dreams about Isa for almost a week. Ill wake up 2 in the morning and sit down to prevent from sleeping. Haahaha. Maybe that explains my swollen eyes. Tsk3. I want bubble tea. Random. Okey bye babies.. <3

2011-03-01T22:08:00.003+08:00

I tired of not knowing somethings in my life.. What else i dont know.. ?? -_- Facebook is very addictive and so is twitter. I have to study.. =) wait wrong smiley ='( hahaha..ya... Goodnight.

2011-02-28T20:51:00.000+08:00

Suddenly this break up is harder then i thought. Everything reminds me of him. Fck this la! I switch off my phone today. MALAS.... Go ahead and text me, i lazy nak layan. Pergi layan diri sendiri. Tak kuase. Exams are coming and im studying as hard as possible. Attachment is also coming. Insyallah it'll be fine. What else ar? Nothing right? k bye!

2011-02-23T22:06:00.000+08:00

Hello to all you beautiful people... School suck alot now.. Project nak mampus.. I accidentally delete my frmBookChoices.. Luckily im clever enough to create backup.. Suzanna pandai kan.. =) Soo anyway Ive been having a hard time resisting to text Isa. Cmon its 2 years,i got use to calling him every night. Give me time babe.. I want to go Azzura!! 19thMarch. Clubbing doesnt mean drinking or getting high or so on.. I think i should have fun and party once in a while.. Right?? Anyway im going with my girlfriends.. Most of them broke up too soo we want to put our mind of from the crying once in a while..ahahaha.. Ill update more later.. I want to show my aunt a really funny video i watch just now..

2011-02-19T20:43:00.000+08:00

I decided to update again. I feel disturbed thinking about this over and over again. I know what i feel now but what my mind and my heart is saying is different soo which should i listen most... I feel a little desperate but yet i am not proud of this stupid feeling. Its like "Cmon suzanna you can lead your life single" but im going out almost everday,going home late almost everyday,texting guys who im not sure what for or what the future is going to be..Honestly i don't want to have one.. Im am sick and tired of texting " B where are you" and he dont give a shit about my concern. Calling but ignored. Trying to act like im somebody's girlfriend.. Yes.. Every guy is bloody sweet to any girl for the few months... All this ^^^ Is what my mind is saying..
My heart.. it says that all the pain i go through should be sacrifice just soo that im with him... I love him very much. His family,his mum especially inspires me... How much he thought me to slowly start praying,to believe that i do not need stress in life... Why?? ='(
Everyday i pray for you to wake up and actually give you all the love.. thats all i ever ask... yes i get it sweetheart,we both are busy,we are having exams but does it make sense that you can text me now.. when im not your girlfriend.. but when im yours to keep... ONE TEXT ISA is like a miracle... My goodness... What are you trying to imply here.... Okey im better now... alhamdulilah.. Me and mum are in good terms.. My dad.. cant say la.. My sisters.. i miss them alot! =( Family is planning a trip to Langkawi.. Entah betul ke tak.. hahas... And spammers please,im not his anymore.. Take h im if you want to.. Go ahead... Fck him all u want seriously.. Pathetic despos... You are one slut i cant forget.. Isa is single.. Ambil la... i give up on your stupid emails already..
You know in one email she wrote..
Ill get Isa and for sure he will love me more then he had for you. I know you and his sister are pretty close but soo what Zanna. Ill make sure she likes me!! And ill make sure he is keen to fuck me one day"
DESPO RIGHT? -_-

2011-02-19T16:34:00.001+08:00

Yes i know its been long since i updated. Change blogskin because sick of the old one. Im finally at home for after a few weeks. I have been having a lot of drama for the pass few weeks. But nah.. its normal i guess.. Its more like a routine. Exams are coming and im not studying.. haha.. I will soon. What happen pass few weeks,i don't really want to say... Maybe it happens for the best,maybe it happens because i gave up.. Well i don't know. I don't want to cry anymore... The part that I'm confuse about is that this happen twice. Soo the first that happen wasnt really a lesson for us. I regretted letting go,yes i admit but i think i deserve way better then this. I don;t think im selfish about this because for 2 years i was hoping at LEAST a change in what we had but it stays the same. Look at the bright side. He has no one to ask him where he goes and text to ask where i was. Right? The small little things we always fight about,is no need anymore. I always tell myself like who knows maybe Allah has a better plan for us in the future. Maybe not now sweets but insyallah in the future. I love you still,sad to say... Okey no more emoing and off to do my project..
14 February 2009 <3

2011-01-28T15:38:00.000+08:00

I swear i feel like my life comes to an end in no time. Im like sick for how many weeks,my family tearing down.. My boyfriend is stress up. OMG! What the hell is happening... And guys please stop asking me if im single or not! Im attached. Simple as that. Doesnt mean i post something on fb about breaking down and shit,doesnt mean i broke with my Isa.. Desperates.. Am i cheap to you..?
Alhamdulilah my sisters are better,1 okey another one to go.
Yesterday my dad was working and he has a minor accident.. He is stressed but thank god he is fine and so is the passengers in the bus. It was an accident with an Army truck.
For a moment i thought my cough was going away but now im coughing like non-stop again.. Adui.
I found out that i got new assignment.. Ni lagi satu,mampus... Ive been studying but i need to re-read.. because nothing is understood and that is not a good sign,sumpah...
Im suppose to go to my dad's place today but i am falling sick..
I realise i skip chapters in whats happening fast.. Sorry im multi-tasking.. Update more soon.. Chingay prac tomorrow but maybe im not going...

2011-01-26T22:48:00.001+08:00

Sometimes i feel as if i have no purpose in life. I dont know why i was called a daughter but never had a chance to be, i dont know why i was in love but never felt like im his.. I dont why my life is soo hard to understand and the worst about it is, i never gave up in any. What is wrong? What did i do wrong? Am i asking too much from all of you. I always give bur never get anything in return.. Looking at my little sisters like this,it just break me down.. Ya Allah berikanla aku kekuatan dan tabahkan la hatiku ini supaya aku tidak akan pergi balik ke perjalanan yang dahulu tanpe sesiape pun aku haru mengadu dekat... Amin..

2011-01-06T19:39:00.001+08:00

Sorry i actually want to update yesterday night but i was too lazy soo anyway i just got back from lunch with nisa at jurong point. Nisa just got back from work so i decided to meet her. She is sick. Soo i let her choose what she want to eat. We ate Long John Silver. Met her friends. walk around and i saw Hambaly and her sister. Its been so long since i saw them. Gave my number to him s he could contact me when ain is out. Although i dont want Ain to meet him,i also have no rights to stop ain from meeting him too soo its up to her really... We went to Rubi to shop her friends shoes.. Then we went to wallet shop and Nisa's stomach got upset soo we took cab home.. Kesian... Okey soo ill update more and i cant wait for school next week.. pfft

2011-01-05T22:14:00.000+08:00

This was 2009. Its my baby's birthday today. I hope he loves my present. Well there are three cards inside. Written by my father,my mother and myself. So yeah.. Happy birthday sweetheart. May all your wishes,dreams,desires,passion and resolutions for this year come true. He just told me that his new resolution is to speak good english this year because he wants to get this job for Emirates. If I'm not wrong right sweetheart?
So i actually want to update about this particular incident that happen to me when i sleep over at my father's place. I saw late grandfather. His face was soo soo..... i dont how to put this in words.. But i think im sub conscious at that moment because i felt half awake and half asleep. It looks like a dream but i know I'm awake. IIt was hard to believe that the moment i saw,i didn't scream or faint or get sick. I was relieve to have actually have the chance to meet him. He walk to me. Sat beside me. Say somethings i can't remember. And after awhile i just walk to my father and told him. I didn't even remember him vanishing.. BUT i do remember that i felt being push down as if i was refrain from screaming or making any movements. I didn't move. I cried knowing that my late grandfather came to meet me. Until now i have this feeling that he was trying to tell me something but what on earth is it.. See how blur i am. Isa is super right about me... I want to meet him again but at the same time I'm really scared. Suzanna you are one *toot*. Be brave.
And of course the reason i came to my father's house that night is because i was curious. Curious on why I'm a child to so called have parents but i don't feel like i do. I'm not being emotional or unfair but i tried turning to anyone i turn to but all i hear.."Your mummy made a lot of sacrifices..blablabla" Then i will have to respond and say okey. So who else can i turn to then my father "Daddy had suffered a lot.. and blablabla" I cry because I'm listening to people's problem but what about myself. I want to talk things out to Isa but I'm afraid to break down in front of him. Yes this is one thing he doesn't know.. I cried in front of Isa a few times but i never break down in front of him before. Only some of my tanglin girls have..
Shit now I'm tearing. No one knows what i go through. I didn't have childhood like you guys and girls do. I see things that i shouldn't see when i was young. I admit I'm spoil now.. I update later... seriously... Ayden is here..

2011-01-03T18:18:00.003+08:00

I dont know why..but i always have a hard time with anybody. I wanted 2011 to be different from other years,more decent yet happening and memorable. Haiyo.. I don't know if I'm fighting with isa or not now but who the hell cares already. If he don't give a damn about my feelings,i should just play along right. Well he is having fun tomorrow with his nursing friends. Go ahead sweetheart,your birthday is coming,i don't want to ruin it. GO AHEAD!!! I am being a good girlfriend.. Alhamdulilah that i understand Isa very well. Well I'm not really angry, I'm just disappointed. I didn't regret,i just....
People say I'm stupid and that I deserve better,say whatever you want.. I'm sorry that i love him. Okey.. I better stop... This post is POINTLESS. I feel like heading to my father's place today. Sleep over.. Yeah i should!!! Okey made my mind.. I'm going to my father's place today until tomorrow. Let of my mind of Isa. Let him have all the fun he wants. Okey bye.. I want to start packing to sleep over my dad's place,at least until tomorrow or until Isa's birthday.

2011!!

2011-01-01T13:20:00.000+08:00

Hello 1st of January of 2011!!! Another year has past. Can you believe it. Anyway i celebrated my countdown with Mummy,Sweetheart,Ocean,Uncle ( Took my future iphone ), My aunt,Uncle Max and the little cuties. So anyway we celebrate it at Marina Float. It was awesome. It would be better if only im 18. They offer drinks but even if im 18,drinking?? Not anymore!!! Fireworks was awesome. The best view to see it. With the lighting,the music and the performances.
I saw my Sezairi.. Im sorry baby i cant be on stage with you..hahahaha.. So baby i was a little dissapointed because i wanted you to sing your song titled Broken bu nah... Its fine... And i have a disappointing news for you. Im in love with Muhammad Isa for almost 2 years.. hahaha.
Im talking crap. I just got home actually.. I reach home around 10 or 9.. Sleepy but im quite wide awake.. Soo my resolution for 2011..

Insyallah it would not start like that few other months like last year. ( praying soo hard )
My health and eating habits would be better
Im still with Muhammad Isa. ( I love you )
Ill do well for my course
Manage to go through any ups and downs.
Ngaji ( Maybe )

Share yours too ok?

2010-12-29T14:15:00.006+08:00

TEN ARE YOURS
1. Are you single? No

2. Are you happy? I wish i was.

3. Are you bored? Yes,very!

4. Are you white? White as in what? I'm tanned for skin and im not white,im Asian

5. Are you Italian? I wish i am. I like the way they speak

6. Are you intelligent? Maybe but i was always told that I'm blur

7. Are you honest? At times,haha
8. Are you nice? Maybe
9. Are you Irish? No.
10. Are you Asian? Yes but I'm not really proud of that

TEN FACTS
1. Full Name: Suzanna Binte Zuikiflee
2. Nicknames: Zanna
3. Birth place: SGH
4. Hair color: Black or Dark colour
5. Natural hair style: Wavy then i rebond then i wanted it wavy again..pfft
6. Best Friend: My girls and Matiin. Actually maybe all my friends are like my bestfriends. -_-
7. Birthday: 16 November 1993
8. Mood: No mood because i have a difficult boyfriend!!!!!
9. Favourite colour: Green and Light Blue and Pink but mostly Green.. <3
10. One place you'd like to visit: Paris and Germany

TEN THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE
1. Have you ever been in love? Yes which is now
2. Do you believe in love at first sight? Sorry i find love at first sight bullshit. Not logical.
3. Do you currently have a crush? Read my answer on question 1
5. Have you ever broken someone's heart? Yes but we are friends now
6. Have you ever had your heart broken? Yes by the person im in love with now
7. Have you ever liked someone but never told them? Hunny i love you,sorry i didnt tell you. Pfft.. What kind of question is this
8. Are you afraid of commitment? No.
9. Who was the last person you hugged? Muhammad Irfan Bin Ahmadi,m little cousin
10. Who was the last person you said I love you to? Muhammad Isa Bin Ya'acop

TEN THIS OR THAT
1. Love or lust? Love
2. Hard liquor or beer? Hard Liquor. Beer is for sluts
3. Cats or dogs? Cats, I have 4
4. A few best friends or many regular friends? Many regular friends
5. Creamy or Crunchy? Crunchy
6. Pencil or Pen? Pencil
7. Wild night out or romantic night in? Romantic night
8. Money or Happiness? Both
9. Night or day? Both
10. IM or phone? Phone

TEN HAVE YOU EVERS
1. Been caught sneaking out? Many times.
2. Seen a polar bear? Yeah.. Touch it before,i was young.
3. Done something you regret? Everyone does
4. Bungee jumped? I want to
5. Eaten food that fell on the floor? Never
6. Finished an entire jaw breaker? No
7. Been caught naked? I guess
9. Cried because you lost a pet? Yes,Gary...=(
10. Wanted to disappear? Yes!!!

TEN PREFERENCES IN A PARTNER
1. Smile or eyes? Smile especially Isa's

2. Light or dark hair? Dark hair

3. Hugs or kisses? Both.. shit i miss him already..

4. Shorter or taller? Taller.
5. Intelligence or attraction? Intelligence.
6. Hot Topic or Hollister? Hollister better but my boyfriend is a hot topic.. =(
7. Funny or serious? Both.. most have some humor but of serious at times
8. Older or Younger? Older la...
9. Outgoing or quiet? I dont mind
10. Sweet or Bad? Sweet

TEN HAVE YOUS
1. Ever performed in front of a large crowd? Many times
2. Ever talked on the phone for longer than an hour? Yeah of course
3. Ever tried walking on your hands? Yeah but i sprain my wrist. Good times.. Lol
4. Ever been to a rock concert? Yeah.. Tanglin Rock. I have a cool secondary school.
5. Ever been on a cheerleading team? Yes. The best
6. Ever been on a dance team? Yes..

7. Ever been on a sports team? Use to tried playing volleyball in a team when i was primary school but then i quit,wasnt easy
8. Ever been in a drama play/production? Many times

9. Ever owned a BMW, Mercedes Benz, Hummer or Bentley? I wish

10. Ever been in a rap video? NO!

NINE... LASTS
1. Last phone call you made: Mummy
2. Last person you hugged: Irfan
3. Last person you hung out with: My baby and Nurul
4. Last time you worked: Last year,Earle Swensens
5. Last person you tackled: Cannot Tell..OMG!!
6. Last person you IM'd: YOU DONT WANT TO KNOW,haha
7. Last person you texted: BabyCat,Nur Nastasha Binte Rosli

8. Last person(s) you went to the movies with: My baby and Nurul

9. Last person/thing you missed: Isa

Do this quiz. I think is fun. I THINK

2010-12-12T14:16:00.000+08:00

I'm down with fever ever since Friday. I seriously have to stop procrastinate and start doing things on time and making an effort to do things properly. 2011 is near and I'm excited for a new beginning. Ouh today is Isa's mother birthday. Happy Birthday to you. I'm am glad to have met you. I love your advices. Honestly i always want to cry like a baby when you hug me. My boyfriend is lucky to have her as a mother. Soo anyway I'm at home alone. Baby went for tournament,family went for expo's sale. My family can't resist such things like this really. I have been posting without a picture. Super sorry but i found this..

yes check that out!!! OMG!! If this were true i bet the roads would be empty. LOL. Aite this way confusing. Singapore you are way crazy that i thought you would be.. I bet there will be a new type of Ez-link cards.. Like you don't have to tsp,you just walk pass by something and it will automatically deduct from something and you can board the train. Okey i don't know what type of imagination i have but this is better then nothing.. hahaha... =) Now my head hurts.. I should rest..
PS : My mood sucks nowadays. People piss me off easily!

2010-12-09T19:30:00.001+08:00

Hey ho to all of you babies. hhahahaha.. Im bored. I screwed my VB test. hmph! Die liao. Nvm. Ill try better next year. Speaking of next year,i can believe time go soo fast. In a few weeks time,its 2011 and isa's birthday and my father's birthday and our anniversary and it goes on and on and on.. Insyallah next year would be a better year for me and my family. Everyday i hope and pray that next year is better then this year. I dont want 2011 to be like 2010. I dont like 2010. I meet friends would call themselves friends but they are not. I had fights. Lose Isa once. Got this awful migraine every now and then. And found out what happen to my dear cousin Ain. This is soo wrong. Soo i want next year to be a better year.
I have this problem of being stubborn,lying to myself on what i truly feel. I want to stand up for myself once in a while. Sometimes i prefer silence than a fight but without a fight it seems too quite. Get what i mean. Something more balanced. Yes balanced is the word. I never had a chance to really see happiness because the past keeps coming back. Ouh why? Ya Allah give my family and me an opportunity to really realize that this world means more then just enjoying ourselves with bad influence and shelter us with all the love from everyone we know. Show me if im doing the right thing. Show me if Isa is really the one. Show me if im brave enough to face my future ahead if isa is not with me. Make me stronger.
I want to solat. Bye.. hahaha.. sorry if this is a stupid update.

2010-12-03T15:42:00.000+08:00

Im home and i can update properly now. Im going KL in a few days time. I don't know if i'm going out or not. I dont feel like it but i want to do some shopping,how? My wardrobe is like UGH!!! I have nothing to wear.. I'm sorry im like this. Unless i have something really pretty that i could use many times without making it look the same. Am i the only one like this or all girls are. Sometimes you have soo many clothes but when you wear it once. You feel like you cant be wearing it again unless you have not wear it for quite a certain time and then wear it again. I think that's fine. Don't you? I think i have soo many "wear" it my previous previous sentence. I bet you went back to check and counted it. Haha. I hope you are laughing. If you are not. I know im lame and certain times. Isa thinks that about me,i think. Sometimes when i made a joke,he sarcastically pretend that it was funny. Pathetic. Hmm.. Now Isa is asking me if i want to go out or not. -_- I swear i want to puke at somebody's face and make them leak it. Know why? Sometimes people's attitude disgust me. You test my patience,ill drive you crazy. Watch me!
Okey i'm just saying this. I'm not really going to it. I'm not that evil. Swear to god. I'm calm now. Zanna,breathe!

2010-12-03T11:36:00.001+08:00

Having VB lesson now. Soo bored. I went out of class for ow many times already,didnt count. Im listening to old songs. It use to be such a big hit when i was sec1. Know something sometimes the old songs are better then the new ones. Hahaha. m going shopping today. Maybe alone or with isa. Ill update more later. ASYRAF IS DISTURBING ME!! Boohoo..=(

2010-12-02T20:34:00.000+08:00

I dont know what to post... hmm lets see.. im bored.. my friend ask me out to go for supper but im full and i must ask for isa's permission... yes.. but nvm.. i didnt go anyway.. Shit i have to do my vb.. urg!! lazy to the max..

2010-12-02T17:48:00.001+08:00

Yes read that,never use someone to move on. You may have move on but dont do it when you still love someone. Honestly i tried once when isa left me for the first time. I tried soo hard but i cant thats why i back off. I decided just follow my heart although i have to try to get over it. Isa then came back in my life. We didnt really ask for a patch up but we just hang out like we normally do and continued our relationship and forgetting the past.
Anyway look at this awesome weather, i love it! Isa is piss at me. I over reacted. Me and my paranoid. Ill update tonight i guess. Im going to start thinking what i should i wear for KL.

2010-11-30T22:20:00.002+08:00

Well yes i dont have the time to actually spent my time with studies,learning more on my own religion,spending time with friends and family. I dont why but i feel that whenever i do something nice to anybody,i always get nothing in return. I dont expect one but i just wanted to be treated nicely and that is more than i ask for. Honestly i do judge people in some ways but i never have the intention to hate people because everyone has their disadvantages. I accept that. Imagine when someone straight forward said that he or she hates you,how would you feel right. At some point of time,yes which idiot wont feel mortified and angry. So to satisfy things i kept quiet. Just pretend that whatever she says is a compliment that i dont have to take it to hard. You can say that you dont like me but "hate" is something way different. I bet if that person read this,he or she might think that im being childish or im immature. Why dont you show me some maturity then we'll talk. Let me rephrase this,you may have one kind attitude but I NEVER HAVE EVER SAID I HATE YOU FOR THAT!
Okey,anyway....
I am not absorbing much in school and i am in soo much trouble because i know nothing about networking. Visual Basic and Mathematics is fine. I just need more practise and ill be fine,inshallah.
Okey PM1 project is almost done,update blog and finish up our scrapbook is all we need to do. Speaking of project i forgot to text my Bimz team mates. Ill text you later.Isa and me are fine. As you know i deleted my tagboard. I dont find it necessary. Isa told me that why should we care with all this rumours if we know that we love each other and that whatever she said proves nothing. Maybe i was being a "a minah". Trying to fight for your bf and act big and stuff is stupid. To whoever,take him if you want. You prove yourself nothing and you are showing people you are desperate for one. Go ahead.
I swear i give up. I believe things in my life happen for a reason and that reason usually comes from you. Start observing your own behavior and correct your mistakes instead of correcting others.
My family is always.. lets say difficult. I have nowhere to turn to. People think its easy for me but i was grown up without.. Okey no,its personal.. Family is fine.. Really..
Im off to sleep now,i hope. Or maybe do some maths before i go to sleep. Goodnight everyone.
Try your best to spend your last few days this week. If not,there is always next week. Make sense? Dont ask me. I also anyhow,haha. ( i made myself smiled )

2010-10-27T22:15:00.000+08:00

My boyfriend is sometimes a pain in the ass. I have no mood to actually update but since i have nothing to do,i decided to just update. Nadzirah's birthday is coming.. And i have to prepare the scrapbook for her.. Gosh.... i hope we have enough time. Know what im not continuing this post because my boyfriend is giving me hell!!

2010-10-22T19:16:00.001+08:00

Hey lovely peoples.. hahaha... Thanks to my dear princess for helping me update.. I was at school and sort of came early for school that day soo i can update my blog and of course check my facebook but class out of sudden wanted to start early soo i ask for little princess to update for me.. I love you.. and what happen to your paper two my dear girl.. Well try better next year aite sweetie.. you know if you need me,im just a phone call away..
Soo i regret going to school yesterday.. Came to school for attendance only. Well yes attendance is important but i freaking stay at Clementi.. Hello....my house is not opposite school!!! -_- Unlike Tanglin..
Anyway i want to apologize my dear gfs for ditching them.. Super sorry.. I owe you girls..And and project is still in process.. Urgh.. major things to do..
My baby is not replying me!!! ouh why... No negative thoughts suzanna. I bet he is sleeping.. Yes he is.. No more thoughts about it..
So where was i?? OUH know what i love this video by Neyo. Its One in a million. I kind of agree with the girl. Some guys like to show their girl that she means a lot to them but you guys always have to spoil it like dancing with another girl that may look hotter than you -_-
Okey gtg,not much to type. Counting down the days till i meet my favorite boy..<3
Ps: Thank you Nurul,my little princess..

2010-10-20T15:57:00.000+08:00

Oh , im so damn minaaaaah-ness in this picture .

Well , i aint Suzanna but im here boyf sister , get it .

Well let me introduce myself , im nurul ahtyqa bte ( Y ) , abg sayeh muhd isa bin ( Y ) .

Hahaha , incase you miss it ** , well fuuuuuh dustyrusty lah blog kak zanna .

~ winkwink ~

Dah lameh ehh kak zanna tak update , napeh ehh ? :P

Simple the reason is she is busy with her daily-life-routine . Mark my werds peeps :D

She asked me to update her blog fer her . Hahaha , well then im willing to update her blog (:

Well what to update eh ? Emm let see ,

well kak zanna ferst tyng ferst i dam misses you :/ , been a long time since we never go out .

Im sure you miss me ryte ? Awwwwww ( prasan lah me ) ,

Next thing ,

kak zanna i failed my maths )': , paper one i did well . Thumbs up but

yang fer paper two hmph sux big time seh kak zanna .

Benci ahh nurul , my result overall ohkay lah . Na kateh bagos tak bagos sagat ,

nak kateh raba ta rabak sagat . Fiftyfifty gtu (:

Next thing ,

Kak zanna ty for accompany me to the police station always , back and forth .

Memenat kankan kak zanna ? But well you didnt complain at all .

Well ty kak zanna , i app alots . Papeh nurul picet kak zanna kaykay ?

Next thing ,

Im GLAD , PROUD to have a sis-in-law ( insyallah , amin ) , like you .

You always ready to b my listener , and you always be there if i got a problem .

You`re my advisor too , you always b right by my side .

You`re have a soft-hearted heart . You always talk to me nicely .

You always calm me down if im stress .

You never ever fail to put me a smile on my face whenever i see you .

You treat me lie your own blood sister <3 .

You give me birthday present , everytyng .

You share some of your love to me .

I love you calling me " my princess " , and youre my queen . Hahah i`know a lil bit childish

but who hackeh ryte kak zanna ?

And i still remeber when you accompany me to police station when fasting month ,

and we walked to police station and it is sunny hot day .

But then you never complain and you accompany me with ikhlas .

I love your laughness , beauty and of course your cute-ness .

I love your word no my family love you saying

" IDK , LAH . "

Hahahahaha . Oooopsy daisy , sorry (:

Especially abg mel and abg isak . Hahahhahaha .

Next thing ,

you all dont try to test her patience ohkay ?

tkmoh pijakpijak her kepaleh dyeh sedapsedap when she treat you nicely .

Dont ever i tell you , seriously better back-off ayee .

Dont let her show you her true-colours of fierce ayeee .

Dont step big infront of her ayeee .

You will run when she saw her fierce at you .

I say ehh dont ever try it .

Treat her nicely and she treat the same way too .

And those beetches , sluts , whores tht trying to break her tiles w my bro

better thin twice yeaaah ? Cos y`know

what concequences tht you need to face , and the music too .

Everyone will always behind kak zanna back ohkay .

She wont easily let you go like that . Like people said

" Once bite , twice shy "

I Nurul Ahtyqa Bte ( Y ) love Suzanna Bte ( Z )

P / S ; long enough ?

2010-10-18T20:06:00.000+08:00

school.... =)

Updates!!

2010-10-15T21:07:00.000+08:00

School has started.. I didnt update a lot.. Pictures are at Watee"s camera. I spent my last week of holiday mostly with Isa. Botanic Gardens>Sentosa>Movie at Iluma. Three straight days..=) I have some pictures..

We went to Novena first. Ate at KFC,cab to botanic garden and stayed there till 9 or 8. =) We were quite lost that explains why we took cab and and that day was suppose to be "dont use any money date" hahaha.. But it turn out we did.. pfft... But we had fun.. Talk.. Took pictures from his new i touch. My boyfriend is getting vainer... Seriously.. haha... Nvm.. Soo yes that was our day..
Sentosa. Isa,me,attack,watee,aboi and rafidah. Off to sentosa. They swam only for 30 minutes.. lol.. while we girls camwhore. What do you expect. And and we went to Universal Studio to take more pictures..=)
Next day was suppose to be a movie outing of me and isa only but m cousin and her bf joiined it.. We watch dinner with ____ . It was hilarious.. =) Went home after that...
Next day i have malay dance practise. and the performance was on the following day... Finally its over. Sick and tired of it. And cikgu still owe me $30! pfft.. Well i dont really mind about that but my grandfather wants me to dance for december and im like no way!!! This term i want to work harder on my studies to get my 4.0.. teehee.. Okey anyway i have nothing else to update.. Pictures are easily seen in facebook.. Like duh!!! Soo want my facebook.. Ask me okey? Thats what a tagboard is for.. =) Have a wonderful weekend! Can you believe it its already 1 week of school..? Hahaha

2010-09-28T20:19:00.000+08:00

I know its been long since i updated... Hahaha... Soo sorry.. Anyway what happen for this past few weeks is that i have been raya-ing like crazy... Pictures are all in FB.
First Day of raya i stayed home... =)
Second Day of raya we as a family went to Johor Bahru.
Third Day i forgot..
The next day.. i think i went raya with Daddy
The next day also...and i have exam!
I went out with isa on Nurul's birthday.. Search for her present
Then I dont remember what i did on Friday..pfft..
So its Saturday right erm..... ouh ya.. Open house at my house. And also mummy's birthday celebration. Isa came. Lay down red carpet.. pftt.. kidding..
Sunday.. Raya with daddy again...
2nd week of raya
I went home from Sengkang.. Thats all i remember
Tuesday went ownself shopping
Wednesday Raya outing with family of ITE Simei
Thursday Raya with boyfriend
Friday me and isa went to dad's house to raya...
Then i dont know or forgot what i did on Saturday
I know Sunday i went Malay Dance and Vivo city with family
3rd week of this month
Monday raya with Ex and Not ex ( ???? ) Tanglinians
Today stay home and i think i have flu...hahahahaha
Wow.... i kind of remember..good for me...
I actually have many to update like what i go through and stuff but i kind of forgot... Yes... I forgot.. Pfft.. k i update soon..

2010-09-09T19:04:00.000+08:00

Yes Hari raya is tomorrow. Cant believe time is this fast that i actually am not really excited for tomorrow.. I wish i could be a little excited but im not right now maybe because my exam is coming and im a little pressured.. Hahaha. Anyway cant wait to see everyone gather here tomorrow..
Before i end this post.
Zanna nak mengucapkan Selamat Hari Raya buat sekeluarga,kawan2 dan juga yang lain. Setahun sudah berlalu dan banyak yang telah terjadi. Maafkan la zanna jika terkasar bahasa atau ape pn salah yang zanna telah lakukan. Insyallah perhubungan kita sebagai kawan ataupun ahli keluarga akan kekal hingga ke akhir hayat. Amin. Zanna sayang semue selalu..=) selammat hari raya

Im sorry its short,im not good at this,i swear but do forgive me and ill forgive you =) K bye.. Selamat Hari Raya..

2010-09-02T22:20:00.000+08:00

My goodness Suzanna,you dont update often here anymore.. Yeah i know but i seriously have not much to say..
K simple... 2 weeks holiday > geylang > home all the time > and shirah's birthday. Home is now a different color..hahaha... Isa and me > fight > dont fight > fight > dont fight > fight > dont fight.. and on and on...haha.. Its a routine... K bye.. Lazy. Ouh ya i got a new phone.. E5..not much difference with E71 but just better.. K bye... Again? haha

Muhammad isa always love!

2010-08-23T22:35:00.001+08:00

I told you that i want to update right, well here it is. Lets start from Sunday. I have my Malay dance practice at CC again. This time kak jana join us. Nisa was not there because she had to study for her Os.. I dont really want to say how it goes. Today i went to study with my bestfriend,Matiin. I ask Isa for permission and he agreed so i rush to the Library to meet him. He was alone sitting down doing his DNT. I studied a little. I remember a few important points on Raster and Vector Graphics. See i remember. We got home by train because we want to go home before breakfast and i bought MacDonald because i was craving for it for years. ( maybe just days not years,haha )
I'm getting my phone this week. I'm getting E5. I know its not much of a big deal but i just need a new phone. And mummy is giving my ipod back.. The green one. The one that i had when i was sec3 =) Anyway family is fine but Irfan is sick again. Poor little boy.. Get well soon Irfan.
Isa and I are still the same us. Text or otp once in a while, not really often but im kind of use to it. He is busy with work,project and revision because he have test on Monday next week. Good luck my dearest.
Now i have realize a lot of things that i have thought for days. I have finally put myself a promise that if Isa would ask me for a break up,i would immediately agree because yes the phrase says that " If he comes back to you,it was meant to be then blablabla" What if it happens twice,i dont find that "meant to be" but i find it as im being used. Pfft. Enough is enough! I give in too much. BUT me and isa now are fine..Nothing much,its just that he loves to hurt me by telling me all the stories when he flirts with another girl or when another girl smiles at him. Pfft. Sometimes i wonder what do girls find so attractive about Isa. Im sorry to say this but i dont find him attractive even though he is my boyfriend. I accepted him not for his looks but for the person he is. And its quite turn out the wrong way but he lead my life to a better path. Thats what i want from a guy. He is someone who shows me what is right and what is wrong and especially knowing how i grew up,he tried to convince me not to repeat my old mistakes in life. I had a hard time and Isa was the one who came to actually be there for me always.. I love you sweetheart thats why i always put every pain away i go through when im with you. I forgive and forget.
Okey i think this is too much. I end my post here..

Muhammad isa always love..=)
Hug and Kisses.

2010-08-22T18:42:00.002+08:00

Ill update tonight. I have many to say it out here.

2010-08-20T21:52:00.001+08:00

Happy Birthday to Shirah. She is 19 but never taller then me.. Haha.. I hope your wishes of growing taller will come true..Haha.. Kidding sweetie. I love this small little cutie. Super blur but very mature at times..
We bought her a $100 Sperry shoe from leftfoot. She doesnt know my blog soo im stating the price here. Haha. The cookie cake is from Mrs Field... Anyway we went to chill at Esplanade then went to walk at Marina Bay Sands and their mall...=)

Oldest sister..=)

Wearing her new shoe...

The Mall

As if we can afford that brand

Toilet pictures.. We expected the toilet to be suprb but Nah.... Its not!

Favourite picture of the day!!!!

2010-08-17T22:07:00.001+08:00

I dont know where to begin. Ive been a good girl this week. I stayed home and wait for the time to breakfast. But no worries my days at home will be over because im going out tomorrow. =) I'm going out with my second family ( inner joke )... We are going to order a cake and buy a present for the following day. On friday i have a meeting with Mr Michael Tay at EastPoint if im not wrong.. Yes of course im going because i have not much to do at home. Family at home is fine. We just had breakfast together as a family on Sunday. I may want to breakfast with my dad this weekend. Isa and me? Well we are fine,its just that he is busy with work. Our 18 month anni just past and i didnt update. Its not that i forgot but this month seems nothing to be happy about. It just shows we are 1 month step further in our relationship. Okey so anyway... I have test when school reopens and im not studying.. I was planning on studying the whole week next week alone. Maybe a trip to the library. Maybe ill ask Nisa to join me... =) Or better alone. Hah! so i can set my own timings... but i have to go home before breakfast. Sooo leceh.. Nvm... If i study with Nisa,i think we would breakfast outside. Know what? I have no messages for the whole day. What a record.. Haha.. Im not expecting from isa now because my bf is very tired of working and has no time for me.. ( see im a good girlfriend,i understand ) ( macam paham Suzanna ) Okey bye!

Where i see History begins again

2010-08-14T13:45:00.000+08:00

Well i dont really know where to begin on my post today. Bulan Ramadhan started using my whole entire strength with not enough sleep. Test here and there. Looking at my phone seeing no notifications of msgs or calls from Isa.Know something... Im okey with it. Then knowing something else. Ouh gosh. Its suppose to be a month of peace.. I should be patient. Thank you to Nas,Matiin and Hidayat for being there for me. I texted them when i totally lose it and yes i cried when im fasting.. I cant take it..
Hunny im sorry if i ever trouble you. I know that you are tired and so do i. But i took the initiative to text you goodnight or where are you,how are you even though im busy doing all sorts of things at home. Then the problem? Okey know what,im just going to pretend that nothing happen. I love you sweets.. May Allah bless you in everything you do.. Amin.. Okey i dont really know what to update. Because what im going through are not meant to be memories...

2010-08-09T21:33:00.002+08:00

Nuraini Binte Kamsani. Third grandaughter in our family.. I miss her. Im not sure what else to say but happy birthday dear cousin. Everyone out here misses you and prays the best for you. You wrote to us saying that you regretted,i hope soo you do. Our friends may be dying to see you and such and they really miss you.. But im kind of still a little mad at you. You had a chance to go out yet you meet friends not us. Your family ain. See how much you betrayed. Yes i know you cant wait to meet Teban-ians and your other friends. But please give a thought to your mother. She is having a hard time giving out money for you to study. They came all the way to Hougang to meet you and all you can ask about is your friends.. Please la.. Adui.. Im sorry to say this Ain but most of us here ( your family ) is disappointed in you. Im still hoping for a change from you when you come back. Insyallah...

Happy Birthday to you... 17 already Ain... Count the years you wasted. "Dah banyak contoh kat rumah ni ain"

KK whatever.. I cried typing whatever i type above... Its not easy to see my own cousin just fall.. She is like a sister to me. We sleep,bath,eat even grow up together.. Until the day when we changed our mindset on friends and likes and dislikes. Soo.. Its not only Ain's birthday this year.. Its also my grandparents birthday..=) Anyway I have to go now. Isa is being complicated nowadays.. Goodness... Okey bye! no mood i swear!

2010-08-06T22:19:00.001+08:00

NDP 2010 celebration at school was okey. Wasn't as amazing a secondary school times. I feel soo down today. My friends think that i put them aside,honestly Nisa thought that way. Dont know why? We just otp a few days nisa and then suddenly?? Nvm. Im always calling you girls. When you call me,i always pick up. If you think im putting Isa as my priority. You are soo wrong. I hardly see him too... Ouh gosh. My project half way done. Test on Tuesday and Thursday!!!! Study a bit only only!! Then this.. NBCB sia... Okey2.. But at least i got to Nana yesterday. Called her. Ask her how was she and if she got boyfriend already or not.. Hahaha.. I miss her and mostly i miss Atika.. Haix ni gemuk.. Bile nak makan together2 lagi??? Hmmm... I miss all of the girls. I use to laugh with Nurul the most at secondary school... Play like a kid with Nisa... Talk crap with Nas... Make stuoid jokes with Nana... And laugh my ass of with Atika too...
Know something tomorrow is Ain's birthday... I miss her.. I think im going to cry... Bye!

2010-08-03T22:46:00.001+08:00

Hello gorgeous people. Well I miss blogging... Kind of.. I have like little time to finish my MME project. I have not even start with my Dreamweaver.. SHIT!!! i swear i die.... I really miss Isa nowadays.. I keep calling all my friends b here and there. And and know something. I was being a paranoid bitch just now. Usually when im having java lesson,my baby would text me. "B what you time you end?" something like that. But he didnt this time so i thought he was busy studying and i went home with nad and farhan.. Otw home,i thought he would text me like "Hunny im done" Well he didnt! I was being a paranoid bitch so negative thoughts start running through my mind and i was thinking that he went home with someone else or something. I texted him and HE DID NOT REPLY!!! I got more curious soooooo i called and know what,i totally forgot that today is Tuesday and he has cca... YA ALLAH seriously... Macam nak mampos seh... I was feeling stupid because i was being harsh on him asking "B!! Asal tak reply?" *Sobs* Sorry baby!!
School was crazy! I was being such a baby to everyone.. pfft... Exam is coming and im not revising anything.. Fasting month is coming and im excited??? haha.. But i am ( i swear i really do ) Anyway the real sad thing is my uncle died. Such a nice person though. Im not really close to him but i know he is such a nice person.. May he rest n peace.. Amin... =)
You know i have this crazy dream then when me and Isa have kids ( Insyallah we last ).. Isa would be the one screaming at our kids if they did something wrong.. I know it wouldnt be me... Ill confirm pamper my kids... Hahaha... Seriously its a dream okey.. Im not saying we would and im not also saying we wont.. I mean i cant predict the future. All i can do is just look forward to it and pray that it would happen if i believe that Isa is the man of my life. ( DId i just say that? Okey nvm ) yay! im done with periods.. Relief!! Phew!!
Tomorrow LLA lesson... Here i come Mr Michael Tay. haha! I bet he miss me ( LOL )
Im waiting.. Im waiting... Im waiting for something to finish uploading...
This seems a long post isnt it... Hahaha.. Okey2.. Ill stop here.. Bye people who lives on Earth ( Pardon me with unnecessary lame goodbyes ) I love you all

Hugs and kisses..
Isa always love!!

2010-07-30T21:51:00.000+08:00

I dont remember what i did on my previous days but all i know is that im kind of glad that my problems are going away slowly. I love the weather nowadays because its been raining lately. I rather get wet then create sweat. (Hey it rhymes) School has been full of laughter always and project is full of pressure yet it builds my creativity. Relationship? My family and i are in good terms. Mummy and me are bestfriends...=) Well daddy.... Dont ask..
Isa and me are okey.. Sometimes we fight,sometimes we joke around. So we are like balancing on a tip of the highest building.. It may fall anytime but yet we are holding on to it as strong as possible.. Speaking of my boyfriend,he is not texting me now..-_- Must be studying. He have test tomorrow. Yes on a saturday.. Good luck baby and to your twin and to my friend Dhanielle and his gf.. and.... ya thats all i guess.. Ouh ya and shasha... Do your best..=) Errr lets see...what else..
Seriously i dont know what else to update but whatever it is... Have a nice weekend everyone. Hugs and kisses!!!

2010-07-26T22:03:00.000+08:00

Im learning to get use to praying now... I know.. I bet you cant believe.. Suzanna,sembahyang? Well yes... I believe its a good thing and i should get started...Amin.. K im off to learn back how to pronounce the phrases properly..=)

2010-07-24T18:10:00.000+08:00

I dont understand now. We were okey then we're not then suddenly you are very piss at me which you wont tell me what i did. I freaking drop and cry when i saw the what you reply you say you will wont tell me no matter what happens. What is with people nowadays... Cries ='( Im not updating much.. bye!

2010-07-23T21:22:00.000+08:00

When something you thought was going okey or right,it was always turn out the opposite the next day. It goes on and on without us realizing that it becomes a habit. Remembering the past,i remembered your promises,your commission to our relationship. Then it got away,it came back and still i know you are unsure about this. I always thought one day you would realize but suddenly,somehow,i finally understood that you wont and i must trust you in this. And i decided that i will. Love is blind.. This isn't true. Love depends on God. It isn't true either. Love is something beautiful yet you have to work it out,even if it fades for a moment. At times we hate each other but only for a reason. At times we say we want to break up but do we meant it? At time we get tired with each other but are we very sure. Challenges to face yet many fail because they give up... Yes,we will cry,feel the pain but there will always be laughter and a smile in the end....

2010-07-21T21:53:00.000+08:00

Last Sat and Sun was spent with my dear love. Monday start with another hole in my heart. Pfft. I dont really want to say much.. Anyway I got home with love today..

Choreo Cookies @ Fusion X 2009

2010-07-14T23:01:00.001+08:00

This is Dope!! WATCH!!

2010-07-14T22:49:00.004+08:00

Old picture!!! Well i went home with baby today. Im not meeting him this Friday and on the weekends.. Cancel -_- but its okey.. There is always another day but i miss him soo much. I miss being around him,hugging me or even pinching me. Hahaha.. But if i love him,i would wait even if it takes more then a minute,lol.. hahaha.... Okey anyway Im trying to be as positive as possible now. I have test tomorrow.. Yippe!!! ( what??!!! ) Ill revise later... Very tired now ( I thought i want to revise ) Okey i dont know what else to update now but... Happy 17 month anniversary baby.
I know we go through some rough times in the beginning of the year and although its mainly "destroyed " because of you,well baby,i just want to tell you that lets out the past as something that never happen. It will never go away,the pain always stays but i believe that it will never happen again,i hope soo... I will trust you now but no promises that i will really really trust you. Its just that its hard after what happen... Girls nowadays are being a bitch. What i meant is like..Nvm...We have gone through many ups and downs my dear.. I hope we wont go on or separate ways again... Insyallah.. I mean we can never predict but i believe it wont happen...=) I love you always Muhammad Isa!! i do...

2010-07-14T17:18:00.001+08:00

Happy 17 month anniversary hunny!
Ill update tonight..=)

2010-07-12T22:24:00.003+08:00

Today school was a slack. Got into class. Finish the work given quickly and straight to my complicated family that we made up in class,haha...=) We then had 4 hours of break.. -_- I know its super long but do we have a choice.
My dear boyfriend got home early,i dont why yet. Its not that i didnt ask but he refuse to tell me and kept telling me that he will be okey. I wanted to be there with him at that moment but he wont allow me. I feel bad because i kind of made him mad yesterday and then today he is feeling unwell. I cant bare to see my dear Isa get hurt in any way. I swear i would do anything to make him feel better.
Remember i agreed on the break up,one reason i agree to his command was because i want him to be happy if this is the way i should make him. Secondly of course why should i hold to someone who doesnt love me back the way i do,move on with life,right? But Allah gave both of us a chance to make our relationship a chance. We work it out and here we are together again,stronger? maybe... I hope soo we are. I texted and called him till he reach home and also texted his sister to make sure that he is okey. I was told he was fast asleep and let me tell you it was a big sign of relief...
Anyway we were suppose to have S&W right but it was cancel due to the weather and also the event held at the field. There was a soccer match but this time it was the girls team. I didnt watch throughout the game so i dont know who won but all i know the teams playing are from College East,Central and West...
Soo off to our next lesson,MME,which i hardly pay attention.. blablabla....
Now my baby is studying,being a good boy...While im typing away at my blog on what happen today... pfft..I have a project to do but i need to do some planing before starting this project. A theme and also my arrangements on how i want to present my work.. I need ideas and brain storming but nothing creative is in my head now. It will come soo. ( I hope soo ) Okey thats all loves..
Ouh ya i went home with Dhanielle today. Saw his girlfriend,finally... She seems nice. Well hope to know you soon.. =) Okey bye!

2010-07-11T22:56:00.000+08:00

Firstly happy birthday to my dear sis.. and secondly im sorry hunny.. I didnt mean to make you mad.. I love you,both of you.. anyway ill update tomorrow..goodnight loves... World cup tonight,GO HOLLAND!!!! =)

2010-07-08T21:02:00.001+08:00

I SWEAR I LOVE YOU MUHAMMAD ISA!!

2010-07-07T22:57:00.000+08:00

I swear im in pressure nowadays... Don't know what im doing with my life but all i know is that im going with the flow to what is happening to my life. Know something,yesterday,me and my boyfriend are in the same train yet we dont met.. Yes,im sure you'll be wondering... Well i dont want to elaborate... I feel helpless nowadays.. Honestly i didnt eat for weeks.. Im sorry hunny if you read this.. I did eat a little,like.. bread.. and sometimes i survive with that for a day... I miss you sweetheart.. Its been a week,no wait tomorrow is 1 week... haiyo.. He is probably asleep now..-_- i understand.. Haiyo... Okey2.. School had been a good distraction from me from being curious on why isa didnt text me and im starting to understand what im learning... Bump into Dhanielle today.. Its been long since we talk... Tanglinians all the way..=) Miss the canteen food there btw.. Every Friday,spaghetti..muahahaha... Ok i better fo to sleep..

some idiot i dont know called me today...Shoo!!!

2010-07-05T22:08:00.001+08:00

School was not okey at first then it turn okey thanks to S&W,amazingly... Concentrate during MME class. ( First time,i swear ) Got home alone...Me and Isa are having our time out soo we are not texting alot. Cross fingers that our relationship would be better. Insyallah... =) Matiin has been a good friend. I ask him for advice. Matiin does the same thing as Isa. He has soccer,cca and O levels but for Isa just replace O levels with Nursing. Nursing is a tough course.. I know..-_- Matiin told me maybe Isa needs his space,"guys time". Soo i agreed.. Its hard for me but i have to be a good girlfriend.. Im doing this for you baby... Anyway I must think positive now... Ive not been eating this few days.. Just dont have the appetite but honestly i do want to eat... I swear.. I do eat bit by bit soo no worries.. I have to eat before Isa start scolding me and telling me he doesnt want to talk to me until i eat something....Okey thats for today my love... I just want to make things right now before i hate the whole entire year of 2010..=)

I miss someone,a friend ( girl not a guy okey ),she use to make me laugh,there for me but she is really different now.. And i cant change that,i know....=(

2010-07-02T18:47:00.001+08:00

I forgot the last time i updated. Anyway i watch Eclipse with boyfriend yesterday. We went to Bugis first to survey his watch then had lunch then off to vivo to catch our movie. He find it boring but i find it okey.. It could be better if its a little longer i guess. We slacked for a while. Had little talks and got home. In the bus,this guy got mad for something. I forgot...ya thats ll of it for yesterday. Three more days away from the day im going to start waking up early and sleeping early because school is starting and im excited to see everyone but also afraid... Afraid to lose someone again. Okey2,enough with the emotional part. My june holidays aren't the best and what i thought it would be. I ended up not going to many events,got sick,home situations and more. You wont believe me if i say i cant wait for fasting month. I just want this year to end faster. This year seems really pressuring for me. Started as a ... Anyway boyfriend is not texting me now.. He is busy i guess. I must trust him,really.. I have to. And and yesterday i wanted to see his phone he wont let me.. I sulk. OF COURSE but then after that he wanted to let me but after that i refuse. I have this good feeling that whatever he did to me was just a beginning. Anything can happen.. Praying soo hard now. Soo now im thinking if i am doing the right thing... Having to always guess what is your boyfriend doing and praying soo hard that it doesn't involve another bitch..
Okey whatever.. I have made things clear that im going to let my life "move on its own". Appreciate what Allah has given me and just live with it. Being able to live and face all this unnecessary feelings without anyone to actually be there for me is an achievement to me already... I swear i have this very good feeling that a storm is coming into my life because i keep having nightmares at night. Dreams of the people i love dying and leaving me. Okey suzanna stop.. I seriously need to do something else.. Okey bye! Love you all,i promise... =)

2010-06-27T21:22:00.000+08:00

Lets see where should i start.. My weekends are not as good as it went. Im not going for tomorrow's event... Im so sorry Lisa... Anyway lets just treat all this bullshit as something really expected and something we should face. Im being and learning how to be patient now. Patient with everyone's attitude.. I dont understand why really... I got home,sick and tired.. People shouting at me as if i owe you a fucking life and then talk to my own boyfriend,he made it worse with no such reasons really... What on earth do you want? I love you all soo bloody much and you give me this?? Why? Like give me a very good reason!! Grow up la... Now,its okey la... I cant say anything much already.. do what you what la.. all of you.. loving you soo much and bare with the consequences.. And the amazing thing is... If you read this.. You definitely say "leave me la!!" WTF! I swear i dont know what else to say..Thats why im ignoring all this shit people is giving me! Its okey now.. Im kind of calm now... All i can say now is that i swear i love you very much! I never lied about that! Soo here i updated..=)
Smiles people for this world with a lot of people who doesnt actually know what they want!

2010-06-26T16:50:00.000+08:00

Its been long since i update. Im sorry.. Its just that June holidays are practically not what i expect.. I went out a few times with Isa,no actually a lot of times.. We watch two movies this month and the rest we hang out... I also spent my times with Atika... Played game at her house,went to eat,outings and more. Had a day out with the girls quite recently...Ya thats most of it. Ill update some other day... Im excited yet afraid when school reopens...pfft...=(

2010-06-10T22:15:00.001+08:00

Why is it soo hard to understand you!!!

2010-06-07T22:24:00.000+08:00

Look at that^^^.. Hahahaha... i found in the chalet folder...=) Look at him.. trying soo hard to cook his own food..hahaha..kidding.. Anyway i feel exhausted today. Slept during theory. And got home and....... k im plain lazy to type whatever im doing today because someone just spoils it... pfft

2010-06-07T11:02:00.000+08:00

Got this picture from someone's blog. I find this kind of true..

2010-06-03T21:33:00.001+08:00

Im a fan of her ever since sec 2... Jojo... I have both of her albums =) I use to sing to her songs at home... She is such a gorgeous girl.. So far,no gossips about her and she is still making awesome songs to listen to.Anyway will be planning another outing for the six of us,i mean atika,nana,nurul,nas and nisa.... Dont you dare say you girls are busy. Make time for us la for once in a while right?? But we must follow nurul's schedule because she is working.. for atika,nisa,nana and i,we have school holidays soo dont complain.. i dont know about nas.. Do you nas?? Went home with baby just now.... yes get curious who am i referring to.. hahaha.. I have not change my status and everything yet but i will soon.Really...Lets just make it official... Okey whatever... Tomorrow still got school and lesson is only for 1 and a half hour.. whats the point man... Nvm.just come for the sake of attendance..Ayden Ryqel is here. I just realize that my uncle really love babies but maybe only if its a boy... Im the youngest girl in my family and yet my uncle dont really like to be close to me when i was little..Guess so.. Ouh ya!!! I freaking hate periods... I keep giving this bad mood at everyone.. Im sorry... its really irritating...ugh!! Go away you unnecessary periods. Yesterday i had a hard time with my stomach and leg cramps in class... I almost got carried away by throwing something at someone. So i slept throughout the lesson to distract myself... Okey thats all my dear... Will update tomorrow,maybe... Im going out with anak Ismail tomorrow... Hahaha... Nana la... =)

2010-06-03T14:48:00.002+08:00

Seriously i dont know what to update but what the heck.. This is better than nothing right.. soo ya...Having CMOS lesson now except Mr ho is not here and none of us are doing the assignment given..hahahaha.. i want to go home now... please... nothing to do and im bored.. i swear.. jealous that my secondary friends are having their holidays already.. pfft.. nvm.. My holidays are coming soon... And im going Hong Kong during my holidays.. On the.... wait i wont tell..haha... ill leave by suprise... Lets see.. what else should i update on... err... ouh ya,just found that nurul is attached.. and she didnt tell me.. haiye.. who am i to her right.. never share already... Okey ill update tonight because i cant remember what else i should update... Bye babies...=)

2010-05-31T11:26:00.001+08:00

Dont walk into my life if you know that you will leave someday again...

2010-05-30T18:33:00.000+08:00

Just leave me alone. Go away. Im sick of everything. Well its Ocean's birthday today. Almost had an accident this morning. It includes almost the whole family but alhamdulilah nothing happen. Have a nice Sunday all of you... =)

2010-05-29T21:23:00.000+08:00

Must i update? nah...

2010-05-26T21:59:00.001+08:00

Super old picture.. This was made by Jaslyn. We dance HSM and she made this to support us... =) Its dance partner ok.. not purposely like that one... soo school had been -_- Seriously... Glad that CMOS test is over like finally... Classmates is getting crazier then before.. hahahaha.. I have not much to say really.. so bye2...=)

2010-05-23T20:59:00.000+08:00

I have no mood to update.. Friday and Saturday were both awesome days..=)

2010-05-21T20:58:00.000+08:00

Picture was taken during his aunt's birthday party... Well i have no pictures to post so i thought of posting a picture of us.. Few minutes left till he finishes work.. Hurry.. Anyway lesson for today is not really what i expected.. I didnt learn anything... Hahaha... I need to revise really.. I have to... Tomorrow am going lunch or dinner with my ladies... Miss you girls a lot and i want to catch up things with you girls. Not meeting Isa for this week,most probably... He has chalet this weekend and i think ill spent my time with my mum... Its been long since i went out with her... really... I miss my Mami Baby Elephant.. hahaha... Anyway i gtg.. =) Love you always..all of you.. especially you..

2010-05-20T21:49:00.000+08:00

Seriously dont we look like siblings....Hahaha.. we look soo alike except she is shorter.. No offense babe... Anyway today we went to Navy Open House 2010... We rode one of the ships.. I seriously dont know whats the name really but great experience... Mr Ho,our CA is being blur again... Always.. Weather is freaking hot.. seriously... Saw Tanglinians..=) Was shock to see my school from far west coming to Changi..Glad to see them... Hug Nisa like one crazy bitch! Sai got a fight with this group of guys from ite dover.. Super unnecessary but they ask for it.. hahahaha.... Seriously whats wrong with guys nowadays... Getting attention with the wrong attitude.... Pictures will be uploaded later by Sai and Lisa... Ouh gosh im afraid because i heard there is a lot of candid!!!!!

2010-05-19T22:19:00.002+08:00

As you can see that all my links are gone... I deleted all of them.. So if you want me to link you,tell me... I only link my dearest friends only. Nothing to update except this.. Enjoy the rest of your days this week... =)

2010-05-17T22:01:00.001+08:00

Look at that^^^^.. Yes omg!! If i were to choose ill take all the green and blue ones..I wont eat it,ill admire the combination of the colors.. =) hahaha... If i was rich.. One of these^^ is a must to be build in my room.. HAHAHAHA!! Ill be sick of chocolates by then..So i didnt went for MME theory class today because i felt sick.. Stomach pain,not enough sleep.. The usual.... Okey thats all.. currently chatting..

2010-05-17T09:10:00.001+08:00

Super forgot to say that 15 month anni just past... It was on Friday but i forgot to post it... soo anyway Saturday went out with Isa. We went to watch a movie. I bought the tickets this time and at first he has no idea what movie we are watching.. He kept guessing and i kept telling him that i dont know.. Hahaha... Seriously.. So after the movie we went home straight. At first he told me that he is not sending me home because he wants to buy a donut.. Then i told that okey.. since donut is important to you compared to me.. I left then while walking,i saw him. He is sending me home.. =) Got home... Everyone was home suprisingly and called Isa.. And sweetdreams to both us.. Sunday i went to my Dad's house and that all im saying here.. The rest of the day stays personal.. Nothing you should know..Anyway im updating at school. Learning flash today. I think i learn it before during my primary school times. If im not wrong,its called Macromedia Flash.. Yes2.. correct.. Okey thats all for today.. Sorry no pictures..

Love : Suzanna
xoxoxoxo

2010-05-14T21:44:00.000+08:00

Biggest sigh of relief that tomorrow is finally Saturday. Firstly i really wan to apologize to Isa for accusing him that he is meeting other girls again. Its just really hard.. It is never easy to suddenly trust someone who took advantage of your trust towards him especially when it not only happen once... I miss my girlfriends.. Where are you girls? Laughing doesn't feel them same without you... Really.. I still have not laugh my ass off yet with my other friends.. Compare to us girls,we do way crazier things..Not meeting Isa for this whole entire week,most probably.. pfft... Should go over to my dad's house this weekend... And spent time with my Mother.. I start to hate school now.. Nothing is absorbed,learned and understood... Relationship and studies are killing me.. Making me depress and tiring.. Seriously sometimes i just want to say I dont care but deep down i do.. I do care about keeping every relationship as stable as possible and i also care about my studies..I can do it,i know.....

2010-05-13T21:36:00.001+08:00

This is cute right?? Its Irfan.. Love it when he smiles... So anyway school was AWESOME! Laugh like there is no tomorrow... hahahaha.. We kept laughing about NAFA test.. This is my first time actually having fun during NAFA test,hahahaha..=) Gosh lots of assignments to do... CMOS lesson was not good.. Could not understand anything im doing but thanks to derrick that we are able to go home..=) Got home,body aching and cant wait for Blaze camp meeting tomorrow..=)

2010-05-12T21:23:00.000+08:00

Phew!! Finally NAFA test is over.. =) 2.4 was not really that bad.. It was okey,i guess... Got 63 in position but i dont know if i pass or not... *cross fingers*. Shirah the smallest among us girls was unbelievable today... She ran 2.4 non-stop,did 29 pull ups and 33 sit ups... She is blur but in a cute way,i swear..=) hahaha... Tomorrow is going to be " see Mr ho"s face all day" from 0930-0400!!! Omg really.. Im plan to bring something to entertain myself in class tomorrow.. Any ideas??? Anyway I have 2 assignments due on 2nd of June.. Its quite easy to do soo no worries.... Okey...

~~Miss seeing your name as 'sweetheart' instead of your name~~
~~Miss telling the world that im attached TO YOU~~
~~Miss typing the word 'boyfriend~~
~~Miss the old you~~
~~Miss threatening you by saying "Who am to you right?" and you will always answer "Your Boyfriend"~~
~~Still dont understand why the past happen... '~~
~~140209 always stays no matter what...~~

2010-05-11T21:44:00.000+08:00

Picture above was taken last year... We watched Victor Victoria.. Found this photo at mummy's FB! I was quite fat at that moment.. Hahaha.. Because i was happy.. Friends all around me and Isa still mine!!! Lol! We all know thats not the real reason... I just got a little fat that moment... hahaha... Soo actually im not really in the mood today... Not sure whats wrong with me nowadays.. Just tired..Really tired.. And TOMORROW NAFA TEST!!! &%@#!!! BUT i love today's weather... Its raining... =) At least one of things makes me happy today... Well off to... bed i guess...

PS: IF YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT GIRLS TO ME AND TELLING ME THAT YOU ARE VERY PROUD TO BE SINGLE THEN DONT TALK TO ME!! UNDERSTAND???

Love you always!!!

2010-05-10T22:37:00.001+08:00

Firstly happy mother's day to this dearest mum if mine... I love her very much.. We may always argue at times but we always work it out.... Thanks for being there for me through my teenage years mummy.. Happy mother's day to my step mother too! She one of the best too!! =)
So.. Last Friday.. Class celebrated April and May's birthday babies.. It was Derrick,jason,asyraf,lisa,joelle and ____. ( i forgot,sorry ) Anyway it was 6 people altogether and we had cake on that day..=)

After school,i went straight to family's chalet... Settle down that day and had barbecue..We play games that night till 4am in the morning..

Above picture is the pictures you choose to see what price you will get when you win a game.. Its almost like K-Nite... Hahaha... My picture wrote " sorry no present" hahahaha.. We played Crossword puzzle ( in pairs ). I partnered with Jana,my cousin.. then we played building a tower using chopsticks and straws.. My team ( Uncle Max,Khalid,Hana ( khalid's gf ) and myself.. We won this time.. And i won myslef $10 watson voucher. Next game was individual... Blow the biggest balloon... I lose!!! Pfft... Nvm... Next was a pairs game again.. I partner with Mummy.. We have to stand on a newspaper then keep folding in half until the last couple stands... =) Mummy and I won!! I won a box of sweets.. ( you dont want to know what kind of sweets i was given,really ) Last game was the drinking game.. Three drinks.. Coke,Orange Juice then Beer... 3 people in a team.. My team is Mummy,Izzat ( jana's bf ) and myself... I drank coke halfway and i could not make it.. The other team won...

;

We slept and woke up at 8am!!!! i know we dont have enough sleep.. One by one got up and got ready to go to Escape Theme Park since we have free tickets... We rode the go-kart and the pirate ship and walk through the haunted house which is super not scary... Hahaha... Pathetic really.. Got back to chalet.. Fetch Isa and brought him to chalet and karaoke... Started barbecuing again at 7.. I didnt eat much that night because i seriously dont have the appetite... Isa went home after that and we karaoke some more and celebrated Mother's Day at midnight!! =)

Okey thats all i am going to update.. more pictures next post.. Waiting for mummy's pictures...=)

2010-05-05T21:38:00.002+08:00

I am seriously confuse in whether you are really loving me like you use to. I dont even know you anymore sometimes. You are really different but that does not matter!!! I dont know what or why am i saying this. He says "trust me!" but all im saying is "ya right,you will definitely leave again" Sigh... Just prove it to me once sweetheart,gain my trust again and ill promise everything will be back to its old times... I think... Just believe... I did have a thought of moving on but now i just dont see the point why i should.. Its stupid. .People may say that im desperate.. But honestly im not.. Neither do i think that he is my perfect guy.. There is no such thing as "my mr right!" please... He just made a difference in my life but in ended in a way that many didn't expect it would happen...Okey i think im being emotional again... First day of period!!! This always happen to me.. Seriously... You know what people always say.. Just go with the flow...

2010-05-03T21:15:00.001+08:00

School today was scary.. At first i had my Monday blues... Got in class and kept quiet.. Did my practical for MME and went East Point with Sai,Shirah,Susi,Asyraf and Farhan to eat at banquet. I was planing not to eat actually but eventually i did... I got stomach ache while getting back to school and slept while waiting for our teacher to come.. Had S&W and we were told to run 8 rounds around the stadium. I was actually okey with that as i have not been running for a long time soo i actually cant wait to run then suddenly forgetting that i ate and i had stomach ache before that,i ran non-stop till i almost reach my 5th round and dropped!! I swear i want to vomit!! I need to sit down, i cant stand up... Lisa and Valencia help me up brought me to the sits and i sat there like a crazy women trying to pull myself together...I actually told my classmates to go ahead first while i stay there for a bit longer but they waited.. Thank you.. =) Got in class still feeling like ~~shit~~.. Watched a raciest video made by an American,i slept halfway and woke up feeling much better but i still feel a little sick.. The video was a really rude show though,its nothing to do with my religion but i see nothing funny about it... Most of the idiotic Chinese guys from the J class was laughing at it.. Honestly,in my opinion its up to them to believe what they think is right.. To them its not funny at all soo show some respect and the purpose of the video was to see the animation... Have to photocopy 37 Chapter 2 MME papers for the class tomorrow and i kept forgetting to bring my hair band... I must keep reminding myself because i am quite forgetful.. Okey thats all for today.. Goodnight people and have a nice week at school or at work... =)

2010-05-02T18:30:00.002+08:00

Home alone now.. Family went to visit Farish at hospital. Hope he get well soon.. Currently not doing anything except surfing the net. Watch three new trailers tat now im dying to watch.. One is The Last Airbender then Step Up 3 and lastly Eclispe..But before all these movies The Last Song is must to watch... =) I have not eaten yet and thought of going down and buying something to eat but i think ill cook myself something... What to do for Mother's Day this year. Use to do it with Ain all the time.. We made Art and Craft before.. I did mummy a scrapbook and also a frame.. Wait the frame was her birthday present.. I thought of going cycling with mummy this year,you know.. Some exercising then eat Macdonalds,hahahaha.... Top up your fats... ( inner joke ) I swear i don know what to do now...

2010-04-30T21:58:00.003+08:00

Im missing someone now... That person left me for 3 days to KL.. Ouh gosh... Well im kind of use to it,a little because usually it happens... Today is my aunt's birthday.. Happy birthday to her.. Going to have cake later,cant wait.. =) I didnt attend school today because 'insert reason'.... Nad told me that class didnt do anything much anyway... Soo i didnt regret not going to school and class today ends at 12 30... I took care two babies at home today.. Ayden Ryqel and Irfan.. This two "gorgeous"- my family always calls anything cute gorgeous... So thats all for today.. I really have nothing much to update.

PS : Have a safe trip there and home dearest.. =)

2010-04-27T11:34:00.002+08:00

I did found him,the person who actually prove to me that i cant always take care of myself and he left.. =( Randomly posting... In school now,waiting for Sisoftware lite to download.. And classmates kept laughing at me because my CA look as if he wanted to rape me.. hahahas.. ill update in details later... software is 88% dowloaded... 12% left,hurry!!!

2010-04-26T21:37:00.000+08:00

I miss having a lot of coloured pens in my pencil box..=) Im not sure what to update today. For the past few weekends i spend my time with whoever i want to... It seems like whatever happen in the past,didnt happen.. K i don know what else to say already..

2010-04-22T21:40:00.001+08:00

Well i know its been long since i update again.. Seriously i don know what to say. Life is full of choices.. Choices that is actually hard to choose. Love is all around me but i don quite understand it. I don know how to differentiate with which ones are lies or the truths... See... Not much to say really... Soo if anything happens,ill update.. School is beginning to kill me slowly. Its been raining... And i love it... I love the rain A LOT! American Idol ( Idols gives back ) is awesome!! =) Okey thats all... Com is lagging.. And i cant listen to anyone's songs in anyone's blog.. Is it me? Or it is happening to everyone????

Goodnight! Have a good Friday tomorrow.. Having telematch,i bet most of the UJA people are not going.. Right?

2010-04-20T20:04:00.000+08:00

I know its been long since i updated.. Im lazy to update really... Well the last i updated was last Wednesday right? Soo on last Thursday,i had school. Friday i went out and i didnt go to school because i thought we have telematch and its completely a waste of time to go to school but then i found out that telematch is postpone.. pfft!!! its all Mr Ho Kian Pee fault!!! . Saturday i also went out. Sunday i went to Aunt's place. Karaoke till i almost lost my voice. Monday and Tuesday school as per normal... =) Ouh ya.. Lisa ask me to make facebook for class.. I think ill do it later la... Very lazy hor.. hahaha...
Nisya said this and i burst out laughing
"cmos here,cmos there,cmos everywhere" hahahaha... You may not get it but if you heard the way she say is,its hilarious... hahaha... Okey thats all im going to update... =)

2010-04-14T21:18:00.000+08:00

Lets just update okey.. Yes school is always school except its not like the old times. Kind of awkward but okey... We met our CA today. Mr ____ . I forgot. Finish reading " p.s : i love you " today. Such an inspiring story. Very simple yet true. Well i suddenly i thought of keeping my life occupied. I thought of taking O level Mathematics. And also the BLAKE camp. I'm not sure but i thought it would be a great thing to do especially for my own benefit. Honestly when i have a boyfriend,all i think about is him,like when you get home,you would start to think and wonder what is he doing and all the things that usually a girl does when it comes to having a boyfriend. Yes being loved and loving someone is a part of happiness in everyone's life but not all the time. Sometimes doing something for yourself is the best. Well im not contacting with any guy at the moment now except ___ and of course my friends ( old mates ). Please dont get the wrong idea. I know some people am just dying to know if i contact with "someone". Well find out yourself aite. =)

Ouh ya today,should be but not, Me and Isa 's 14 month anniversary. We use to look forward to this day but it just had to end. Its okey really.. =) Things happen for a reason. I believe if it was meant to be then i have to accept it. Anyway to Muhammad Isa. Thank you for everything. Miss the old you. No one knew how much better you were as a person when i just got to know you. Yes we may not be together as a couple yet we can continue and change things or start a new.. No one knows but lets just hope for the best in both of us.

Okey thats all.. Promise ill try to update everyday. Seriously my days are just about school =)

2010-04-12T22:29:00.002+08:00

I'm sorry i didn't update for the past few days... Every time i think about what to type,i always intend to stop and think and then i would suddenly get lazy and leave this is an empty space. Anyway for the past few days,i went for Achievers Day. Went home with Nisa that day and cry all my heart out to her. Am glad to see her happy anyway. The next day,which is Saturday i went out with mummy to her friends birthday party. Sunday went to my dad's place with Isa. My parents are not home soo we slack there and played with my little cupcakes. Isa was tired and sleepy soo we went home early. Pity him. I treat him like a child,seriously. Well i know most people have been asking about what happen to me after what happen. Well i think im fine. I'm okey at times and sometimes ill just start my emotional breakdown again! I seriously hate the feeling but i couldn't help it. Really...
Anyway had school today. It turn out okey? Not really actually.. I was quite hyper at first and then after that i decided that maybe im doing things at a wrong tiiming soo i kept quiet and went home straight. Im not really going to elaborate what happen today.. I just want UJ1001A back.. =( hmm.. What to do... And on top of that.. someone had to made the day any worse. You know who you are.. You will never change. I just know that... Why cant you just simply understand what i truly feel? Haiya.. No point saying la.. Seriously....

Okey thats all... I dont think this cover up the past few days i did'nt update but at least i did

Suzanna..=)
P.s : Maybe it was meant to be

2010-04-06T21:25:00.000+08:00

Stayed home today AGAIN! Seriously holiday is too long... Please start school soon. I kinda miss wearing that uniform,haha... =) All i know is that im going out on Friday to Achievers Day and never mind. Soo remember i told you about writing the journey i had with Isa? i totally forgot about it..Haaha... Ill do it some other day.. I need to shop for pen.. My pencil box seems thin.. I have not much to say really.. You people have the nice last week of holiday okey...

xoxoxo
Suzanna

2010-04-04T23:03:00.000+08:00

Not in the mood always kills my day... Well i went wcp just now and home sweet home... Ill update tmr la.. Sumpah i very lazy... =) I love all of you always,i promise...

2010-04-03T15:20:00.001+08:00

Well now im bored at home,not doing anything.. Well i thought of typing it down what actually i have done and feel throughout my whole journey with isa. He told me to try it because it helps to make you feel relief although the feeling of regret and pain is still there. At least you let it out and you didn't keep it to yourself... I might actually agree with that. And cant believe im still listening to him.. Its not because i want to but i know i should. Whatever he is saying is always right. Its never wrong. He always have the intention of showing me that some of things i do have better options. There is always a choice in life.
Soo before we begin,i want and hope no one would judge or comment about what im doing now. Typing every memory and the journey i had with my ex is never wrong. Yes you can say that i may seem to never get over him but im just trying to relief myself. Listen its my blog. I can type whatever i want here. It has nothing,NOTHING to do with you. And this is for my own good,not yours... Wait i think ill write it somewhere first because i seriously i have to recall.. I kind of forgot some. Well i bet he does too... Currently im sitting in my aunts room,looking at Ayden Ryqel... =)

Ps : Love the rain,a perfect weather to stay home and rest..=)

2010-04-02T21:08:00.001+08:00

Okey let keep things updated aite. On tuesday went out with dearest Atika..=) We went to shop at Vivo then we decided to head town,313... We were super tired and also we got blisters on our feet... Double the pain of getting home.. Hahaha.. Took bus 143 home and ate pizza in bus... And laugh like i never did before. I love you Atika..

On thursday went to watch movie. How to train a dragon and played arcade..hahaha.. Okey here is the good news.... Ayden Ryqel,our new family member,my new cousin and also my aunt's very first child...=) A picture,sure... but before that im sorry to you know who you are. I was suppose to be going out with you today but the new born baby came in the way,i hope you do understand because you seem piss.. Anyway this cutie is born on the 1st of April.... =) April fool!!! hahaha...

Well just don mind about his picture taken with his mouth open.. Other cuter photos is not uploaded yet... Soo anyway baby and the mother is home now. And i just got back from Malaysia actually... My feet is killing me now.. AND ITS ALL THE CAUSE OF 3 HOURS OF STANDING WAITING AND QUEUING FOR THAT BUS!!!! Okey so whatever it is,i didnt bought anything nice,i just bought myself shampoo and cream... For 50 ringgit.. Okey toodles... Not sure what to type anymore.. Im not really in the mood after a long tiring week...

2010-03-29T22:24:00.003+08:00

The feelings i truly feel.

I would fall into days of dark depression then finally build up the strength to be positive and to snap out of it for another few days. But the tiniest and simplest thing would trigger off my tears again. This was my routine.It was a tiring process and most of the time i couldn't be bothered battling with my mind. Friends and family came and went sometimes helping me with my tears and other times making me laugh. But even in my laughter there was something missing. I never seemed to be truly happy. I just seemed to be passing time till i waited for something else. I was tired of just existing. I wanted to live. But whats the point in living when there was no life in it. These questions went through my mind over and over again till i reach the point of not wanting to wake up from my dreams that felt so real. Deep down,i knew it was normal to feel like this. I didn't particularly think i was losing my mind. I knew that people said that one day i would be happy again and that this feeling would be a distant memory. It was getting to that feeling was the hard part. I know i can't face that or start a new. I knew the truth yet i kept denying. I knew what my heart was saying but i kept telling that i should be okey.

Well this is not all of it actually. I just type the middle part of what i wrote the whole day yesterday. I got this idea from a book. Writing exactly what i feel actually felt better,at least much better then before. Im sorry to say to who i have let down that actually i am weak in this part. I'm never strong at facing a break up,honestly.. Know how i got over it previous times,the truth is by just accepting another human in my life but im tired of that. Im old enough to know what is right. My mind says no but my heart says yes. Soo all im answering now is I DONT KNOW! Wish you would understand. You may think im over reacting but its just what im feeling and i can't lie about it anymore.

Ouh ya so anyway i have been wondering to go to Henderson Wave. Take pictures and chill there i guess. I have been to Botanic Garden,HotPark and actually i think i have been to Henderson Wave once but i totally forgot. Seriously.. Did i? Haha.. Soo anyway i stayed home again today and watch HSM3 AGAIN! I just love the story line. =) And of course their songs... Okey i think this post is long enough. Okey good bye dear readers..

xoxo

2010-03-28T22:23:00.000+08:00

Sorry if i didnt reply to any of your messages.. Not myself nowadays and i felt terrible! I hate this feeling really. I really am sorry. Please dont get mad and try to understand. Okey bye!

ps : i love you ( not referring to anybody )

2010-03-27T22:09:00.000+08:00

Well finally went out with dearest mother today. We went City square. It is a new mall i guess.Soo we walked around,ate at Banquet. The food there was surprisingly better then Vivo's Banquet... Really... There are many fast food restaurants there such as Macdonalds, Long John,KFC,Burger King and many more. Yeah i know,seriously soo many choices... The only problem is that the food outlets are at different areas,its not side by side like Jurong Point. We bought accessories this time,no clothes.. Haha.. Because you know why,there is no Zara or Mango or Forever 21 or even Dorothy Perkins. There is only Cotton On. Pfft!! Got home by cab. My mother and i got car sick. As soon as we alighted,we felt like vomiting. Seriously taxi drivers have this habit of stopping or breaking like continuously. Especially when there is traffic jam!! Ugh!!! Family is watching a movie,i think its Halloween. Super vulgar and disgusting and SCARY movie. The sound effects especially... I seriously dont know what to do nowadays. Am bored always... Know something,i dont know where my phone is and i dont care,haha.... Its been vibrating and at first i wanted to reply but then i thought i should have a break. Its weekend,pay more attention to your family at least,right? Anyway my aunt is giving birth soon.. Her due date is on the 2nd of April. And we are hoping that her baby would want to give birth on April fool's day,hahas....

2010-03-26T21:02:00.002+08:00

The Lyrics of the song of When i Look At you by Miley Cyrus

Everybody needs inspiration,
Everybody needs a song
A beautiful melody
When the nights so long

Cause there is no guarantee
That this life is easy...

Yea when my world is falling apart
When there's no light to break up the dark
That's when I, I...
I look at you

When the waves
Are flooding the shore and I can't
Find my way home anymore
That's when I, I...
I look at you

When I look At You I see forgiveness
I see the truth
You love me for who I am
Like the stars Hold the moon
Right there where they belong
And I Know I'm Not Alone.

Yea when my world is falling apart
When there's no light to break up the dark
That's when I, I...
I look at you

When the waves
Are flooding the shore and I can't
Find my way home anymore
That's when I, I...
I look at you

You appear just like a dream to me
Just like Kaleidoscope colors that
Cover Me, All I need every
Breath that I breathe don't you know
You're beautiful...

Yea Yea Yea

When the waves
Are flooding the shore and I can't
Find my way home anymore
That's when I, I...
I look at you
I look at you

Yea Yea Oh OH OH

And you appear Just like a dream
To me.

Love this song and mostly the lyrics,will update properly later...=)

2010-03-25T21:55:00.002+08:00

My family went shopping today. I stayed home all day. Didn't went out with the person i should be. Am sorry. Really. My grandmother bought a coach bag cost $675 and my auntie bought a MAC laptop for $1588. My grandfather also bought a new samsung phone $565. See they spend a lot WITHOUT me!! How dare! hahaha... Im updating my blog with the new Mac. Its a family laptop for everyone's use but i dont think i will bring it out because i am not able too. My another aunt more rich ( sorry correcting for a certain guest!! ) la,she bought a N97 mini,a MAC laptop and a Coach bag cost $1100. I know crazy sia my auntie. We all "criticising" saying that if she die who will take what,haha... Im soo taking her phone! See how evil my family is...=) Anyway we are joking of course. We love you Bibit. I called my second aunt Bibit. Her real name is Norita..=) Okey that all darlings,i guess.

Ps : I may give you another chance sweetheart but im not sure really because it aite easy..
ps ps : i Edit this post...

2010-03-24T21:01:00.000+08:00

Went to West Coast Park. Sat at one of the places me and isa usually sit. Love the weather. Kites everywhere and didnt regret going there. =) Dont know what to post really. Going out tomorrow for movie. Watching im not sure what show,hahas... And and always not in a good mood nowadays,idk why...

2010-03-23T21:07:00.000+08:00

A picture of me and farish for today, That little guy maybe irritating but i swear he is cute,haha... =) Soo i still am staying home.. Cp are better but i got marks on my faces and body.. *Cries* Anyway im currently kind of hungry later am eating something that my beloved grandmother cooks.. Thursday will be my day out with ____ . Not mentioning. Watching a movie.. Woohoo.. Cant wait.. Hahahas... Know something,my mother read my previous post and she ask.. O-M-G!! haha.. I bet if she reads this now,she would be smiling,haha... I love you me beloved mother. I cant wait for my new nephew to be out!! Ayden Raquel! Is it the right spelling,idk.. Well now i hope Nana is okey,i heard that something happen. Call me k sweetie if you need me.. We go out soo my dear gurl. Anyway im dying to watch HSM3 again!!! You have to understand because i have been seating at home for a week,more then a week in fact and i seriously need to GET OUT!!!!!! And HSM3 was on disney channel last Sunday and my Uncle didnt let me watch it. Tsk! Okey well now im thinking whether i should change my blogskin AGAIN! I know pathethic right?

Ps : Happy Belated birthday to Mardiana. This girl use to be a friend of mine. Then i got all piss at her for * insert reasons * She used to post about me on my birthday and i think i should do the same. Happy Birthday my dear. And may your relationship last with your boyfriend. =)

2010-03-22T21:11:00.001+08:00

I dont know what to say now. Im going crazy. I pretended that i dont care anymore. I pretended that i no longer need you but i do. Im weak. Helpless.. Im going through all this unnecessary emotional breakdown again. I cant hide anymore the fact that im not over you. I miss you! everything about you. I always tell myself that i would and that i can move on but i cant!!! i just cant do this anymore. I regretted texting you yesterday,i should have. Im being stupid again!! Please i need some peace.. SSShhhhhh!!! Peace and quite might help... But it just doesnt seem right... why must you do this to me? What on earth was not right? I dont see why we should? *cries* Know what im trying my best to get over this,i am...Im sorry for being like this. Im not strong enough to accept this. I hate you because you did this to me but i also hate the fact that i still love you... =(